4月3日 巴不得你知道

巴不得你在這日子知道關係你平安的事。無奈這事現在是隱藏的，叫你的眼看不出來。（路十九42）

耶穌威武地進入耶路撒冷，合城都震動了；可是，有一個怪異的神袛在那裡，就是驕傲的法利賽主義；表面是敬虔公正，卻是“粉飾的墳墓”。在我的年日裡，令我瞎了眼的究竟是什麼呢？我有了一個外邦的神袛？我所指的並不是醜惡的怪物，乃是轄制我的性情。神曾經三番四次使我面對這個外邦的神袛；我知道要降服神，把它棄掉，卻始終沒有付諸實行。我咬緊牙齦要衝過難關，卻仍然受制於這古怪的神明。我看不見使我平安的事。我們可以一方面讓聖靈毫無攔阻地得著，而另一方面卻在神面前不斷責備自己，這實在是一件可怕的事。

“巴不得你知道”——神在耶穌的眼淚裡，直接摸著人的心。這話表示罪有應得；我們看不清的事，神要我們承擔責任。“這事現在是隱藏的，叫你的眼看不出來”——是因為我們未曾降服。那“早該如此！”是多麼悲慘絕倫呀！神關了的門，就永不再開。但他開了其他的門，並提醒我們有些門是我們關的，有些門則不需要關。我們的想像力千萬不要遲鈍才好。當神把舊事重提，我們不必懼怕，讓回憶過去吧！它是神的用人，要責備、管教和追悔。神會把那“早該如此”，變成未來的優良教育。

祈禱◆主啊，對於要選擇的方向，我仍感模糊；這個決定已遠超越我的判斷能力。我並非對你懷疑，只是，眼前的一切卻是那樣全然隱蔽。

April 3 If Thou Hadst Known!

“If thou hadst known . . . in this thy day, the things which belong unto thy peace! but now they are hid from thine eyes.” Luke 19:42

Jesus had entered into Jerusalem in triumph, the city was stirred to its foundations; but a strange god was there, the pride of Pharisaism; it was religious and upright, but a “whited sepulchre.”

What is it that blinds me in this “my day”? Have I a strange god – not a disgusting monster, but a disposition that rules me? More than once God has brought me face to face with the strange god and I thought I should have to yield, but I did not do it. I got through the crisis by the skin of my teeth and I find myself in the possession of the strange god still; I am blind to the things which belong to my peace. It is an appalling thing that we can be in the place where the Spirit of God should be getting at us unhinderedly, and yet increase our condemnation in God’s sight.

“If thou hadst known” – God goes direct to the heart, with the tears of Jesus behind. These words imply culpable responsibility; God holds us responsible for what we do not see. “Now they are hid from thine eyes” – because the disposition has never been yielded. The unfathomable sadness of the “might have been!” God never opens doors that have been closed. He opens other doors, but He reminds us that there are doors which we have shut, doors which need never have been shut, imaginations which need never have been sullied. Never be afraid when God brings back the past. Let memory have its way. It is a minister of God with its rebuke and chastisement and sorrow. God will turn the “might have been” into a wonderful culture for the future.