2月12日我非聽不可嗎？

（百姓）對摩西說：求你和我們說話，我們必聽。不要神和我們說話，恐怕我們死亡。（出二十19）

我們幷不是有意違背神，只是我們幷不重視神。神給我們命令，我們却不理會。這不是出于故意的反叛，而是我們不愛他，也不尊敬他。“你們若愛我，就必遵守我的命令。”我們如果覺察自己一直在輕慢神，就必滿面羞愧自咎，因爲我們沒有把他放在眼裏。

“求你和我們說話……不要神和我們說話。”這表示我們愛神多麽少，寧可聽他的僕人。我們喜歡聽人的見證，却不願神向我們說話。我們何以會害怕神對我們說話呢？因爲知道神一開口，就事在必行；除非我們告訴神，我們不肯聽從。若是神僕人的話，就覺得不是絕對的命令，我們會說：“嗯，那不過是你個人的見解，雖然我不否認這可能是真理。”

神一直把我如兒女般看待，而我却老是不理睬他。我是否把神貶低而羞辱他？若我真聽見他，那我加在他身上的羞愧便會回到我的頭上——“主啊，爲什麽我這樣愚頑？”每次聽見神的時候，總會有這種感覺。聽見神的聲音，我們會愧喜交集，以爲聽從得如此遲緩。

祈禱◆噢，主啊，我要尋求你的面，但若你不啓示你自己，我的尋求又有何用處？讓我看見你的面，噢，主啊。讓我能永遠看見你。

February 12 Must I Listen?

“And they said unto Moses, Speak thou with us and we will hear: but let not God speak with us, lest we die.” Exodus 20:19

We do not consciously disobey God, we simply do not heed Him. God has given us His commands; there they are, but we do not pay any attention to them, not because of wilful disobedience but because we do not love and respect Him. “If ye love Me, ye will keep My commandments.” When once we realize that we have been “disrespecting” God all the time, we are covered with shame and humiliation because we have not heeded Him.

“Speak thou with us . . . but let not God speak with us.” We show how little we love God by preferring to listen to His servants only. We like to listen to personal testimonies, but we do not desire that God Himself should speak to us. Why are we so terrified lest God should speak to us? Because we know that if God does speak, either the thing must be done or we must tell God we will not obey Him. If it is only the servant's voice we hear, we feel it is not imperative, we can say, “Well, that is simply your own idea, though I don't deny it is probably God's truth.”

Am I putting God in the humiliating position of having treated me as a child of His whilst all the time I have been ignoring Him? When I do hear Him, the humiliation I have put on Him comes back on me – “Lord, why was I so dull and so obstinate?” This is always the result when once we do hear God. The real delight of hearing Him is tempered with shame in having been so long in hearing Him.