8月18日 你是否憂愁至無話可說？

他聽見這話，就甚憂愁，因為他很富有。（路十八23）

這年輕富有的官黯然無語，憂憂愁愁地走了。他無話可說，他明白耶穌的話，不帶半點懷疑，但主的話卻叫他產生一種無以名狀的憂愁。有過這樣的經歷嗎？神曾否指著你最好的東西要你獻給他？那或許是你某些特質、你所寶貴的關係、心靈與思想所想慕的事情，那時你憂愁得無言以對。主不會追逼你，也不求你，他每次在這事上遇著你，只會簡單地說：“你若是認真的話，條件就是這些。”

“去變賣你所有的”，把一切在道德上可能成為你財產的東西挪去，赤裸裸的只剩下一個有意識的人站在神面前，然後把這個體交給神。爭戰就是在此 – 在神面前的決志。你是否忠於自己的意思，過於忠於主？若然，就很可能會聽見他那叫你憂愁的嚴厲話。他所說的話的確嚴厲，只有對於那些具有他性情的人，才變得容易。當心不要讓任何東西把主耶穌嚴厲的話削弱了。

我可以以個人貧乏為富足，或自覺一無是處，以致無法作主耶穌的門徒；我也可能太自覺於個人的價值，而無法作主的門徒。我能否在一無所有中，丟棄一無所有的自覺而真正一無所有？不然，我們便會變得灰心。灰心是自愛的幻滅，而自愛可以是愛上了對主耶穌的那份渴慕追求 – 而不是主自己。

August 18 Have You Ever Been Expressionless With Sorrow?

“And when he heard this, he was very sorrowful: for he was very rich.” Luke 18:23

The rich young ruler went away expressionless with sorrow; he had not a word to say. He had no doubt as to what Jesus said, no debate as to what it meant, and it produced in him a sorrow that had not any words. Have you ever been there? Has God's word come to you about something you are very rich in – temperament, personal affinity, relationships of heart and mind? Then you have often been expressionless with sorrow. The Lord will not go after you, He will not plead, but every time He meets you on that point He will simply repeat – If you mean what you say, those are the conditions.

“Sell all that thou hast,” undress yourself morally before God of everything that might be a possession until you are a mere conscious human being, and then give God that. That is where the battle is fought – in the domain of the will before God. Are you more devoted to your idea of what Jesus wants than to Himself? If so, you are likely to hear one of His hard sayings that will produce sorrow in you. What Jesus says is hard, it is only easy when it is heard by those who have His disposition. Beware of allowing anything to soften a hard word of Jesus Christ's.

I can be so rich in poverty, so rich in the consciousness that I am nobody, that I shall never be a disciple of Jesus; and I can be so rich in the consciousness that I am somebody that I shall never be a disciple. Am I willing to be destitute of the sense that I am destitute? This is where discouragement comes in. Discouragement is disenchanted self-love, and self-love may be love of my devotion to Jesus.