8月22日 我是……但他

我是用水給你們施洗，……但……他要用聖靈與火給你們施洗。（太三11）

我是否已經到達可以說“我是……但他”的地步？未經歷這一刻，便實在不知道聖靈的洗到底是什麼意思。我果真到了盡頭，一無辦法；他就在此開始作人所無法作的。我預備好迎接他的來臨嗎？若路上有東西阻隔，不論是好是壞，他都不能來。在他來的時候，我是否預備好讓他把我一切的錯失帶到光中對付？他正要在這些事上臨到你。我明知不潔的地方，他就插足其中；我以為潔淨的地方，他就離去。

悔改並不會帶來罪疚感，只會叫人覺得自己絕對的不配。我悔改時，知道自己無能為力，連替他提鞋也不配。我有沒有這樣悔改過？還是暗地裡還為自己留一點餘地？神仍未能進入我的生命，是因為我還未徹底悔改。“他要用聖靈與火給你們施洗。”約翰並沒有把聖靈的洗當作一個經歷，他是視之為耶穌基督的工作。“他要給你們施洗。”凡受過聖靈施洗的人，唯一的知覺就是自己完全不配。“我是……”這樣或那樣，“但他”來了，奇妙的事就發生。我們退居末位吧，讓他成就一切。

祈禱◆主啊，我多麼貧乏！那麼多的軟弱潛伏在隱藏的地方，要將我整個人摧毀。噢，主啊，我投向你。我何等需要認識到，離開了你，我便不能作什麼。

August 22 “I Indeed… But He”

I indeed baptize you with water . . but He shall baptize you with the Holy Ghost and fire.” Matthew 3:11

Have I ever come to a place in my experience where I can say – “I indeed – but He”? Until that moment does come, I will never know what the baptism of the Holy Ghost means. I indeed am at an end, I cannot do a thing: but He begins just there – He does the things no one else can ever do. Am I prepared for His coming? Jesus cannot come as long as there is anything in the way either of goodness or badness. When He comes am I prepared for Him to drag into the light every wrong thing I have done? It is just there that He comes. Wherever I know I am unclean, He will put His feet; wherever I think I am clean, He will withdraw them.

Repentance does not bring a sense of sin, but a sense of unutterable unworthiness. When I repent, I realize that I am utterly helpless; I know all through me that I am not worthy even to bear His shoes. Have I repented like that? Or is there a lingering suggestion of standing up for myself? The reason God cannot come into my life is because I am not through into repentance.

“He shall baptize you with the Holy Ghost and fire.” John does not speak of the baptism of the Holy Ghost as an experience, but as a work performed by Jesus Christ. “He shall baptize you.” The only conscious experience those who are baptized with the Holy Ghost ever have is a sense of absolute unworthiness.

I indeed was this and that; but He came, and a marvellous thing happened. Get to the margin where He does everything.